From Pregnancy to Normal delivery

life is a beautiful blessing one is blessed with that you can never understand until it grows inside of you, isn’t it? And pregnancy is the process that makes it happen. Pregnancy is not an easy process, my friend. It demands a constant support, love, patience, understanding and care (of your spouse most importantly). Pregnancy brings mood swings along with timelessly weird food cravings. I had my food cravings seemingly out of nowhere. And one night it was so intense that I had to eat a gulab jamun by hook or by crook :p luckily, my pregnancy journey was not as bad as most of women undergo neither it was a smooth road to travel on I tell you. If you ask me to rank my experience of pregnancy on the scale of difficulty from 1 to 10, mine would be 6. But still, Alhamdulillah!(praising God).

I still remember the day so vividly my husband brought pregnancy testing strips for me and how curious he was to know the results lol. Somehow, he already knew in his gut that I was expecting a baby. I too could feel something was different with me. I began to had mood swings and my body weight was declining as well. My test turned out positive as a minute later both the lines on the strip became brighter red. My hands were literally shivering out of surprise and excitement. The feeling I had at that time is utterly indescribale. *_*

My first month was not as flat as a pancake -.- had a severe nausea, suffered from anorexia. I lost my appetite. My sense of smell became so strong that even the candles locked in my side drawer of bed made me sick and gave me mild nausea and headaches. Oh and the Smell of onions almost made me to run out of the house everytime. I lost my 3 kgs of weight in a very short span of time. The start of this journey was not really pleasant at all. In the first trimester I had a severe acne and hair fall. All in all, life was not going my way. But of all the worst things, some best things also happened. I had my Husband with me and his presence made my first trimester little more easier for me as all the time he was with me and made sure to take best care of me, tolerated my mood swings (most of the times) loved me and understood my condition. So this is how my ugly first trimester ended. In the second trimester, my husband was not with me as he flew to London for work purposes. This trimester was polite to me as compared to the first one. Nausea slumped. Appetite returned to normal. Developed little lower belly pooch. had my gender revealing ultrasound. Changed doctor, I was not satisfied with her as she was somehow not ready to ear my confusions and problems relating pregnancy. So I had to bid her a farewell and found a new one who always encouraged me to go for C section that I don’t understand why? C section has become a new trend and believe it or not Normal delivery is a new taboo today,in Pakistan. I respect an individual’s decision If something is your call, it is up to you to make a decision on the matter. But personally, I am against C section.

I know that normal delivery is a painful process as it comes with unbearable labour pains and demands a lot of tolerance and patience. Also every women has different threshold of pain and endurance. I think every women must prioritize normal delivery over C section. If you want to restore to your previous body tone and shape without facing hassles must consider the option of natural delivery process that is vaginal one. Anything that goes against nature brings consequences as well. C section by no ways is a natural process thus creates a lot of problems for us women for later in life.Contrary to that, in vaginal delivery , all the struggles and pains are temporary. Unlike C section, in normal delivery you can stand on your feet right after giving birth.Favouring C section, I still remember how my doctor used to brainwash me to go for operation and not vaginal delivery.

On one of my routinely check ups she told me that to deliver normally was near impossible for me as I had narrow bone structure not strong enough to deliver a baby from. Despite of knowing this I decided to give a normal delivery a try. In old times, there were no ultrasound and other facilities to predict if woman is capable of delivering a baby normally or not. Also if the woman has narrow bone structure or vice versa. With labour pains and contractions baby makes his way out of vagina , some with less difficulty and others with a lot of pain and struggle. Again it all depends on ones pain threshold. I remained very active during my pregnancy, I used to walk for 30 minutes daily along with squats and prenatal yoga.This helped me a lot I promise and made my normal delivery much faster and possible. You won’t believe me but during the small gap of time between on going intense painful contractions I did not sit to relax but I walked and did squats which made my dilation pretty fast. My total labour time was almost 4 and a half hours. Yes you read it right. Unbelievable? As normally for the first times the minimum labour time is at least more than 10 hours long. I was from one of the rare cases.Nothing is impossible especially those things that you are determined to do. I delivered an amazing adorable baby girl from the same narrow bone that my doctor declared incapable and feeble to carry on the process after bearing intense waves of 4 and a half hours long non stop contractions. My doctor holding my baby comes nearer to me asking how on earth you managed to do this!? she was amazed along with other staff there. They called my delivery a miracle normal delivery.

Now if want to give birth to your baby normally by a natural process there are some tips I’ve to share with you. They are:
Stay active Try to do squats, short walks and prenatal yoga is a must.
Stay hydrated Drink plenty of water and other fluids. Water is so essential during pregnancy, it is also believed that women who drinks more water don’t develop stretch marks after pregnancy as staying hydrated aids in production of collagen too.
Eat dates It is also proved from a research that eating dates makes women vaginal muscles and body stronger making normal delivery easier.
Dry Fruits consume dry fruits in smaller quantities as you need a lot of energy at the time of labour and pushing baby out. Dry fruits are power pack of nutrition.

Stay possitive try to think of and look at all the possitive things around. Try to stay calm and relaxed, Pregnancy makes you anxious too. Don’t stress about the delivery time, the pains and labour. Indulge yourself in activities that makes you happier and possitive.

Covid-19 vaccine

Vaccine makers notched up another bleak Covid-19 accomplishment hence igniting a new hope in people. A little while back, who knew that such a tiny inconsipicious virus will change the whole picture of the world drastically. The main focus in vaccine making was on protein spike that is believed to play an indispensable role in enabling the virus to bind with healthy functioning cells giving birth to new viruses in the body. This process makes human body to produce antibodies in return to battle covid-19. According to a recent trials done on people, vaccine made by Oxford University is proved to be highy effective in fighting the virus thus stopping people to develop Covid-19 symptoms. As health care takers, doctors are fighting against it on the frontline hence are more vulnerable to virus attack. It is decided that they will be given consideration while injecting vaccines which is a good decision as I too believe they are the ones who deserve this the most. Their lives are constantly on stake and they are surrounded by the threat of deadly Corona 24/7.I support the idea of giving doses of vaccine to frontline workers first. And ofcourse the ones that are more vulnerable. Like old people, pregnant ladies and childeren. Everey human’s life is equally important but as these people are the most exposed or susceptibile to the virus, should be given priority. All in all, vaccine production is tremendously exciting. It is proposed that it has a great potential to be delivered across the globe, achieving huge public health benefits. Cross your fingures and lets hope for the BEST!

I’m failing, teacher.

Draped in honesty and dressed in dignity for years, you saw how I strutted through the streets of darkness, assaulting my fears with sword of determination and Tawaqul in Allah, dear teacher. There are teachers who work assiduously to establish a consonant practice and yields great consistency and a clear-cut notion of center standards, you were one of those teachers. You taught some lessons like no other could ever do. You made me learn how to blind hopelessness (mayoosi) with faith (tawaqqul) in Allah (S.W.T) and to be at peace handing over all your matters to Him and wait paitiently to see the tables turning, transformation of all the hardships into ease. I remember every lesson you taught me so vividly and dearly. Oh my teacher, I never intended to fail you and make you bow your head in shame.

Your gentleness towards others even to those who were harsh on you always prompted me to be as gentle as i could. Your every trait inspired me hence aspiring me to follow your ways. You left me all alone in a world that I can not think I can excel in without you. I wish you stayed little longer with me to hold my hand and guide me like a little child who knows nothing and relish your presence around me like a child relishes on last piece of candy.

Nothing and no one can fill the void teacher. Since you left, I’ve never came across anyone as genuine, kind, justful, sympathetic and truthful like you were. You were indeed an epitome of grace and greatness my teacher.

I wish I could tell you how deperately I want your assistance and support today, need you to hold my hand and pat on my shoulder to tell me that I am doing okay and one day I will rise and shine again as I did before among all the other kids from other leagues that clearly are aiming at making me belief that I’d never make it?!?!

I guide myself, letting my own intellect dictate the ways you thought and acted, but i quiver with low self esteem, my attire falls to tatters and structure of my frailing faith shatters in hunderds of unmendable broken pieces, Sir.

I trailed to ones I considered my saviours, from whom I’d first sought to escape. That is where the downfall began I tell you. I couldn’t stop them from leading me astray. I neglected your teachings and let those presumed saviours intimidate me.

It pains me to tell you that I’ve never gotten up since.

The thought of you not looking at me in dismay and bowing your head to shake it in disappointment, that I failed you, crushes me. For I’m in extremely confunded and despicable condition, teacher.

I understood that no one can stand up and fight for me like you did even in your weakest of times.Your love for me truly was unconditional and pure.

I am so Sorry that I’m failing. Failing badly, my teacher. But, I promise next time I will try to write to you happily making you hold your head high with pride than bowing with shame, Insha’ Allah! As I am told, efforts are appreciated and are what that are counted. So I will keep getting up and try to stand tall everytime I fall, oh my beloved teacher , “Mohammad (pbuh)”.

All my love,

Your failing Ummah


‪+92 307 4896012‬ 20180411_031358.jpgLately, she has been noticing how afraid she has become of being in the relationship that she thought was her strength!? 

Lately, it was so much lacking emotion that now her mind makes her think that every other realtionship will be as this one!?

Lately, she also has been so desperate to have someone by her side just to feel something different from sadness or fears.

Accept it

FB_IMG_1466455821549You have to accept that the people in your life are not for holding you together when you are falling apart or are not the ones which will be there for the deeper conversations, my child. Such people are made for shallow exchanges, and nothing more. And that is okay. They are not going to be there to love you through the worst moments of your life. You have to accept that there will be people that will not give you what you need. And that does not make them horrible. Its just that they are not able to handle stroms like you do. It also does not mean that they are not worth keeping in your life. This is not the thing you decide. God does everything with purpose. He sends all those people in your life with the plans which only He has a better knowlede about. All you need to do is just to figure out who these ones are in real before they disappoint you, hurt you and shatter your heart into pieces. They are the tests. The trials. Keep them at arm’s lenght. Okay? You can not expect every one in your life to be non judgemetal and to understand you. Your perspectives. Your thinking process and the things the way you think, the way you do. This doesn not implies that to leave people and to run away from every thing every person that disturbs you. I know there are the times when you need to get away from all the heaviness. You have to. And you will need superficial conversations about the daily on goings. Small little useless things. Don’t go round cutting people off and droping your friends. The sooner you accept the better you become.

A trippy dream


In one of so many

The trippy dreams she has

When the clock strikes 3

In the morning

And mind ceases to behave

All the mitchmatach of thoughts

And the ideas you keep safe

At the back of the mind

When the deamons come into play

Playing and puppeting

In the tableau of your

Midnight hallucinations

Long lost the days

When angels used to

Dance and play

Sprinkling stardust 

Singing lullabies

One such night

She went to pluto

In one of those 

Unusual trippy dreams

Silver and pink

Was the theme color

Of every thing there

Silver and pink were the 

Rocks and the trees

Silver were the

Locks and the keys

Silver was the sky 

Pink was the land

Everybody was silver

With splashes of pink

Be it the living or undead

All the root of insanity

Is having too much time

The line writen above

Was just for a rhyme?

When I opened eyes

And got out of my sleep

Usual surroundings 

Looked creep

When i got out

there I found 

Different shades around me

It felt so good to be around

Different other colors

But no silver neither pink

After the bizzare dream

Where silver and pink

Was the color

Of every theme




Little girl by the sea

Its a story about a little girl, by the sea. Inside of me, playing in the sand. Little girl, skipping rocks on the sea. I wanted to hold her hand. She loves the fish she can see. And the gulls in the air. She laughs and plays, in the golden day. With not a single care, I wanted to take her by the hand.

Little girl, by the sea. Can’t you see? There is a storm just past the horizon’s edge. The sky is getting dark. Storm clouds are rolling in. ‘Let’s go now!’ I said, to the little girl. But she can’t hear. She’s drowned. And dead.

—    THE END  —

World of words

Hi you beautiful reader. Welcome to my world. A world of  words making less of a sense and more of a chaos or otherwise? The place where not a stuff so fancy you find. Welcome *-*! I may not give you decorative stories, to excite your imagination, or sign you up for some long program but I write to share with you how the things are making sense to me, and to remind you that you are never separate from It, Sometimes?


Peek inside


Oh you!

Peek inside

Here it lies

   The soul of you                                             

Hidden in shades Of dark and grey                           

Lost all the glitter once it had …